A fashionable woman is always in love - with herself. — Francois de La Rochefoucauld Copy Share Image
And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
You're actually using your brain. That's what comes from associating with me. — Oliver Hardy Copy Share Image
If my love for bacon were my love for you then I would've loved you forever with no questions asked. — Raghib Clitso Copy Share Image
I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't. — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
“He didn't want me to get hurt? Wow. Just wow. I might actually be close to a swoon here” — Jessica Verday Copy Share Image
You know it takes a big man to cry, but it takes even a bigger man to laugh at that man! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding… — Tom Hiddleston Copy Share Image
Ironing boards are a classic example of something I find horrible about modern society: the excitementation, for want of a better word,… — Daniel Radcliffe Copy Share Image
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn't know that in America… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Did you know that the Stegosaurus lived further away from the Tyrannosaurus Rex than we are from the Tyrannosaurus Rex in time? — Jonah Peretti Copy Share Image
I think there's a notion in our society, and it may be valid, that people aren't as funny when they get older.… — Phil Hartman Copy Share Image
She never sat down in a car but stood, braced tense, facing the wind. Now and again she would turn her face… — Mazo de la Roche Copy Share Image
“I smack myself in the forehead. “Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods, they’re not moving!” I exclaim. There’s a choking noise over… — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
It may sound funny to others, but there is a sense of freedom when I am able to live on my own,… — Soha Ali Khan Copy Share Image
