You call me 3 times, I ignore it.*Unknown call* Who the f*ck you trying to making fool — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I did it on my bed.. I did it on the couch.. I did it in the car... Texting is such an… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Question: wats your fav memory?? Answer: Thats hard! But probably my best friends b-dayparty because the kid I was like absolutly in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girls used to get undressed for their husbands only.. in 1995 girls started to get undressed for the money.. in 2012 girls… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
School is pointless! English? We speak it. History? They're dead, get over it. Math? We have calculators. Spanish? We have Dora. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, 'Where were you between four and six?' I said, 'Kindergarten' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“A traveling salesman was driving in the country when his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farmhouse and asked… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When your mom says you look bored, wanna have a friend over? & you're just like... Hahahaha… Friends... Good one mom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This Boss's Day, I would like to say thank you for the job that gives me health insurance that covers my anxiety… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Gilrs get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dad, thanks for dating someone older than me during your mid-life crisis. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That terrifiying moment when you have to pee really bad and you can't unbutton your pants. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That Awkward Momment WhenSomeone Deletes There Comment So It Looks Like Your Talking To Your Self.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scientists are trying to figure out how long human can live without a brain. You can tell them your age. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Awkwardly standing there whileyour friends talks to somebody you don't know. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughing is the best medicine. But laughing for no reason, you need medicine — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations on being the last person in the galaxy without a cell phone — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
