When you're single, all you see are happy couples. When you're committed, all you see are happy singles. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to someone who expects to be treated like a queen on this and every other day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I know I'm not perfect, I'm vintage, which means my flaws make me priceless! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why didnt the flasher retire? He decided to stick it out for one more year. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, OMG! My yard is on fire! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
YAY! I Get to Dye My hair Purple! My Dad Said YES! *Finally lol* I Knew he would lol Want me to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Haters act like haters because their full of hate and that give people a sense of hatred when entering a room full… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are few things more awkward than looking at the person who is passing you on the highway to find that they… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I went horse back riding today...it was fantastic!, Until I ran out of quarters and the security at the store told me… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am fifty-two years of age. I am a bishop in the Anglican Church, and a few people might be constrained to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When your trapped in the trunk of a Honda sinking to the bottom of the ocean you either learn about cars or… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can always tell a real friend: When you make a fool of yourself, he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'll stop loving you, the day apple grows on a mango tree, on the 30th of February. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You remind me of the black guy on The Office, because you're the black guy in our office. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to a mom who didn't intentionally get knocked up to be on MTV. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dad, thanks for struggling with your homosexuality long enough to sire me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear rapists, I've slept with morelittle kids than you ever could. -teddy bear — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thing I won't forget: All the little stupid but cute things we did together.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Two scorpions living in the same hole will get along better than two sisters in the same house. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mom:What did you learn at school today? Me:Apparently not enough. I have to go back tomorrow — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Creating a nickname for your crush that only you and your best friend know. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to someone who carried me for 9 months physically and for 29 years financially. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Love your parents. We're so busygrowing up, we often forget theyare growing older too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Few things are more disappointing than a hot new coworker who is wearing a wedding ring. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I have a daughter, I shall name her Stacy. So I will be Stacy's mom thats got it goin' on. :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
