I Was in Florida And Everyone Was Telling Me To Say Stuff lol *Btw I'm From Tennessee* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, 5% Friday! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hen my dad says to be home at 11.30, he doesn't mean be in the driveway, but inside the house by myself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Before Shaq retired, they should have made him play a game dressed as Kazaam. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
THERES THIS, one person. & there so beautiful. God must have made them perfectly. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Shark Week is a great reminder there are fast-swimming creatures more intelligent than Ryan Lochte. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
MODERN PHILOSOPHIES: 1. Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught. 2. The wise never marry. When they do, they become otherwise. 3.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its ironic that Glee is doing an episode on teen bullying since the reason I bully you is because you watch Glee. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hating is an emotional disease so for those who hate me, get well soon, or dont flatter yourself sweetly he's desperate and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you remember something funny, start smiling like an idiot,, everyone stares at you wondering why you're smiling xU… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't call me if you're gonna talk to your cousin, mama, daddy, little sister, best friend, neighbor, dog, grandma etc in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Strange, that some people are still alive after the breakup, knowing that they used to say 'I'd die without you.' To their… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The great thing about glow-in-the-dark condoms is that if you get up in the middle of the night to raid the fridge,you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't want to be a born again anything; I was Born, OK the first time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If barbie isnt a slut then why do people have to buy her boyfriends????? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Question: Have you ever had a crush on your ex? Answer: Wayyyyyy to many times — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I should really start going to bed earlier so I have more time in the morning to be late for work. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best thing about a heat wave is constantly having the illusion you're getting exercise. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Having a pet is the reason I only spend 97% of the day thinking about myself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you walk into a spider web,,, and you instantly become a kung fu master... amazing — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me six times, The Fast and the Furious. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute and asking them for a hug. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope that you are enjoying your trip as much as I'm enjoying masturbating with the door open and volume up. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's your 21'st birthday, now you can do all the things you were already doing, but weren't supposed to be. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm driving alone at night I get scared a murderer is hiding in my back seat... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Friend: "I wasn't even that drunk !" Me: "Dude...you asked your girlfriend if she was single." — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life ... is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Knowing your family so well, You can tell who's coming downthe stairs by the sound of their footsteps… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
According to Wikipedia, the longer your Starbuck's drink order, the less of a man you are. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope you are as ready to confuse our sexual chemistry for love as I am. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
