Wondering if you're adopted because your the only sexy one in the family.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You haven't truly grown up yet till you realize spongebobs the asshole neighbor, not squidward. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I dream of a better tomorrow...where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry not being allowed to work from home has forced you to adjust your masturbation schedule. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can always count on my dog to make me feel better about a bad hair day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They say that nobody is perfect, then they say that practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If my mom had a Twitter I'd probably get in trouble for someof the stuff I say on there lmao — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't understand people who say they need more Me Time. What other time is there? Do these people spend part of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life is like a pregnancy. You gotta push through all the struggle and fight to get the reward you've been waiting for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's tell people we voted because of the worldwide financial meltdown rather than the free cup of Starbucks coffee. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
HOW CAN THIS 15 YEAR OLD BE SO FUCKING CRUEL,RACIST,AND SLUT?! I hate her! How could she say those things about Avalanna!?… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you are sad, to cheer up just go to the mirror and say, 'Damn I am really so cute' and you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bubbli got caugt on date on Independance day . Major Rohail- What is this? . Bubbli- Dad today is freedom day, so… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For enduring the bloodcurdling torture of my adolescent years I promise to always keep your electronics functional. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It was nice growing up with someone like you - someone to lean on, someone to count on... someone to tell on! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you wake up thinking it's Friday and it's Sunday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Halloween: Is one night of the year when all households save the most on their electricity bill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to have real and/or imaginary sex with you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate being tickled, I do not think it's cute, I do not find it funny, I will kick you in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can't get out of my bed or I'll… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not Jewish but would still appreciate some acknowledgment for working on a Jewish holiday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Funny way to spend your life, though, studying another chap's versifying.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The most dangerous person is a mailman becoming a hitman, he knows where you live. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Have a happy Mother's Day before your kids reach an age when they're completely jaded about Mother's Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part that's behind me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The follies of youth become the vices of manhood and the disgrace of old age. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Only lawyers would refer to something as a brief that takes hours/days/weeks to write and is 30 pages long. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A good friend helps you when you fall. A Best Friends laughs in your face and trips you again! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Bastille Day to someone pretentious enough to know what the fuck that is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never ever get into fights with ugly people. They have literally and figuratively nothing to lose! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
