Shark Week is a great reminder there are fast-swimming creatures more intelligent than Ryan Lochte. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't want to be a born again anything; I was Born, OK the first time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, 5% Friday! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hen my dad says to be home at 11.30, he doesn't mean be in the driveway, but inside the house by myself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations on being the last person in the galaxy without a cell phone — Anonymous Copy Share Image
21 is the age of responsibility. Give it a few months and you will be wondering why you were in such a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pretty friend: I just got 100 likes on my photo ! athletic friend: I just beat everyone in the school at running… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are three kinds of people. Those who make it happen. Those who watch it happen. And those who don't no what… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Does anybody know WHERE CAN I WATCH PRETTY LITTLE LIARS Season 3 ON MY IPAD? (Not on Abc family 'cause it saysi… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't understand banks. Why do they attach chains to their pens? …If I'm trusting you with my money, you should trust… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I Was in Florida And Everyone Was Telling Me To Say Stuff lol *Btw I'm From Tennessee* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's your 21'st birthday, now you can do all the things you were already doing, but weren't supposed to be. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm driving alone at night I get scared a murderer is hiding in my back seat... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute and asking them for a hug. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope that you are enjoying your trip as much as I'm enjoying masturbating with the door open and volume up. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you walk into a spider web,,, and you instantly become a kung fu master... amazing — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Having a pet is the reason I only spend 97% of the day thinking about myself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me six times, The Fast and the Furious. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best thing about a heat wave is constantly having the illusion you're getting exercise. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Question: Have you ever had a crush on your ex? Answer: Wayyyyyy to many times — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I should really start going to bed earlier so I have more time in the morning to be late for work. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you're single, all you see are happy couples. When you're committed, all you see are happy singles. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I know I'm not perfect, I'm vintage, which means my flaws make me priceless! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to someone who expects to be treated like a queen on this and every other day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Knowing your family so well, You can tell who's coming downthe stairs by the sound of their footsteps… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
