Happy Mother's Day to a mom who didn't intentionally get knocked up to be on MTV. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'll stop loving you, the day apple grows on a mango tree, on the 30th of February. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You remind me of the black guy on The Office, because you're the black guy in our office. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, OMG! My yard is on fire! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why didnt the flasher retire? He decided to stick it out for one more year. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you hand someone ur phone to show themjust one picture & then they startscrolling through the rest without asking..NO. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why I turn on the TV: 10% to watch shows. 90% to use it as background noise so I feel less lonely… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm going to make a facebook account called No one. Then I'll like random people's posts and it'll say No one likes… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Guy: Hey... listen, I know you're probably pissed at me... Woman: It happend. You chose her. Obviously the wrong choice, but... you're… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Fact 1: You can not touch your both lips with your tongue Fact 2: After reading this, 99/100 idiots would try it Happy 1st April — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Those Penis enlargement pills you have been taking must be working. You are a bigger Dick today than you were last week. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The greatest comfort of my old age, and that which gives me the greatest satisfaction, is the pleasing remembrance of the many… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Love your parents. We're so busygrowing up, we often forget theyare growing older too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Creating a nickname for your crush that only you and your best friend know. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to someone who carried me for 9 months physically and for 29 years financially. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Two scorpions living in the same hole will get along better than two sisters in the same house. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mom:What did you learn at school today? Me:Apparently not enough. I have to go back tomorrow — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dad, thanks for struggling with your homosexuality long enough to sire me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear rapists, I've slept with morelittle kids than you ever could. -teddy bear — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thing I won't forget: All the little stupid but cute things we did together.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Canada Day to my new countryman if they ever reinstate the military draft here. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The 'Awkward Moment' when ur when you start yelling at someome and they put there hand over your mouth. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Remember a diamond is just a piece of coal that did good under pressure. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I will NEVER work a night shift at a restaurant because of the hash slinging slasher. :| — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Few things are more disappointing than a hot new coworker who is wearing a wedding ring. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
