I told the monster in my closet that coming out of there would make him gay. That solves that problem. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Cats are better than any vice. They're not fattening, dangerous, or expensive. However, they can be addictive. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know your talented when you can untangle your headphones in the dark. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your dad thinks that every boy you talk to is your boyfriend. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At least you're as thin as the college rejection letters you're receiving. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Grandparents Day from people you should appreciate for not yet putting you in a nursing home. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They say milk gives u strength. Drink three glasses and try moving a wall. You can't. Drink three shots of vodka and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry can't talk now. Busy licking the thick white stuff off the top of a long hard thing! WHAT?! You pervert!! I'm… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, At my age, I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when ur SERIOUSLY trying to watch something, then ur entire family comes and decides to have a competition of who… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Coming home from school and looking in the mirror and thinking Oh my gosh ... is this what I looked like all day? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A blond goes to a store and asks the cashier, can I buy that TV? no. why not? because your blond. seriously… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't believe in the kind of magic in my books. But I do believe something very magical can happen when you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your are what you eat right? oh I get it thats why all girls are orange! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That Beautiful moment When a guy stretches so far , you can see his abbs and boxers. . — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No one is normal. There are just a lot of weird people with things in common. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Friendship Day is the perfect time to not reflect on the friends I've methodically erased from my life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's all admit we all pick the Dorito that looks like it has the most flavor on it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The feeling when you tell someone your going to bed but your not and you want to post something on facebook lol — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny when you always talk a lot about studying , but always ending up cheating ! the heck. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not a bad student, my study breaks are just longer than my study time! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Open your eyes, close your mouth; See the flies, froze your laugh, cuz you now in dustbin — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think I'm addicted to Twitter. Ive starting losing interest in convos that go over 140 characters. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I make my life a living hell by writing complex stories with complex characters. But I love it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Memorial Day to someone who would stab himself in the leg to avoid military service. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Memorial Day to someone who gets post-traumatic stress from watching Saving Private Ryan in HD. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Prostitutes are way better than marriage. Why buy a whole cow, when you only want a glass of milk? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can talk behind my back allyou want. You'd never have the balls to say it to my face. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Without my drivers license, youll just have to believe the age I tell you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When someone makes fun of your favorite celeb, you automatically defend them without even realizing it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
