My dog thinks hes soo popular.. whenever the doorbell rings he always assumes its for him! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder; how many other girls he is texting while he's texting me... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wanna hear a joke about your girlfriend's p*ssy? Nevermind, you'll never get it... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men are pigs; their every actions and thoughts is dictated by their penis. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Math, I am sick and tired of finding your X. Just accept the fact that she is gone. MOVE ON DUDE. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you've fallin asleep during a movie...you're no longer watching the movie the movie is watching you...wishing it could go to sleep… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm listening to music really loud and I have to keep pausing it because I constantly think I'm hearing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's try to put at least as much thought into voting for the next U.S. president as we do into voting for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I fill out an application for a job, I always put 911 as my emergency contact, because wtf is my mom… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The broccoli says I look like small tree The mushroom says I look like an umbrella The walnut says I look like… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I sleep to much, Parents complain. Don't get enough sleep, Parents complain. I eat too much, Parents complain. I don't eat enough,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When life gives you a Bad Romance, show everyone your Poker Face, buy a new Telephone, call Alejandro, and you guys Just… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'll do a little round of WTD. butnot with fans, with celebrities. I think playing WTD with fans kind of tells them… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Someday's I wish I had a crappy education so your grammar wouldn't bother me so much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You will never realize how wired your friends are until you start to describe them to someone else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Good morning guys haha I just got up lol what time is it were you guys live? Here it's 10:30 lol — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My girlfriend took a pregnancy test today, and my worst fears have been realized.. she's just fat.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend helps you up when you get knocked down, a true friend says "Stay down, I got this." — Anonymous Copy Share Image
L hate that feeling you get when you have an insanely good comeback .. but it's way after the argument. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Gather the crumbs of happiness and they will make you a loaf of contentment. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations on running a marathon without having to stop for a heart attack. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy- *Texts sweet stuff.* Girl-You're so sweet! Girl- *Texts sweet stuff.* Boy- Ok. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is absolutely nothing to be said in favour of growing old. There ought to be leglislation against it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I need a boyfriend No, u WANT a boyfriend. u NEED water, cause u sound thirsty. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
84 people died and 11 were injured in London as Rick Ross attempted to crowd surf at his concert. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Learning is the indispensable investment required for success in the 'information age' we are entering. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Love is a form of amnesia. It's when a girl forgets there are 1.2 billion other guys in the world. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
