This just isn't my day. it could be raining titties then I could get hit in the head with a dick. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks for buying an item off our wedding registry that wasn't put there by my spouse. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Internet users, One day you will really regret not reading me. Sincerely, Terms and Conditions. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let love comes to you, be patient. In fairy tales they don't find each other until the last page. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What the fuck I look like stressing over friends? I got family I walk pass and don't even speak to. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I dream of a better tomorrow...where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can always count on my dog to make me feel better about a bad hair day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to wake up with you in the morning hours. I want to get hot and sweaty together. I want us… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Did You Know About My relationship with my sibling(s)? We're pretty close. Although, my older sister and I argue a lot:P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Our fan of the week is... Daisy Alejandra! Congratulations í. To get picked as our next fan of the week, post on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Most kids: I like to drink and smoke weed. Me: When it's cold out I like to breathe heavily and pretend I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You make me laugh at things that aren't funny. You make me smile without actually being here. You make my stomach flip… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The world's a better place, because of folk like you. Who take the time to do nice things, the way you always… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Michael Jackson died at 58,Whitney Houston at 48,John F. Kennedy at 38,Amy Winehouse at 28. How old is Justin Bieber again? 18 Right? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry not being allowed to work from home has forced you to adjust your masturbation schedule. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They say that nobody is perfect, then they say that practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wondering if you're adopted because your the only sexy one in the family.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You haven't truly grown up yet till you realize spongebobs the asshole neighbor, not squidward. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That hilarious moment when someone tips the waiter with THIS!! Thanks!!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You call me 3 times, I ignore it.*Unknown call* Who the f*ck you trying to making fool — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry having lesbian moms means you have to buy two Mother's Day presents. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I truly believe your associate's degree will help you get a better shitty job. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I miss slamming my phone shut when I got off a call mad, not poking my screen in an angry rage… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ladies admit it.. When you like a guy, every other girl that talks to him is considered a slut . — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Gilrs get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
