I can't stand people that don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Their so stupid... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate being tickled, I do not think it's cute, I do not find it funny, I will kick you in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to have real and/or imaginary sex with you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When a fat girl eats a cheeseburger, people think, "Ew, eat a salad." When a fat girl eats a salad, people think,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm going to make a facebook account called No one. Then I'll like random people's status, then it will say No one… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women are like telephones; They like to be held and talked to, but if you push the wrong buttons you might get… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Boys, Until you start having periods, babies, and watching the one you love be with someone else, you're not as strong… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear spiders, if I see you outside, I will let you live. But if I see you in my house, I will… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You Could Walk a Mile In My Shoes But You Still Wouldn't GetMe Even If I Can With Instructions, So Tell Me,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Halloween: Is one night of the year when all households save the most on their electricity bill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you wake up thinking it's Friday and it's Sunday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If my mom had a Twitter I'd probably get in trouble for someof the stuff I say on there lmao — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It was nice growing up with someone like you - someone to lean on, someone to count on... someone to tell on! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Only lawyers would refer to something as a brief that takes hours/days/weeks to write and is 30 pages long. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A good friend helps you when you fall. A Best Friends laughs in your face and trips you again! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The follies of youth become the vices of manhood and the disgrace of old age. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Have a happy Mother's Day before your kids reach an age when they're completely jaded about Mother's Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The most dangerous person is a mailman becoming a hitman, he knows where you live. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part that's behind me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can't get out of my bed or I'll… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not Jewish but would still appreciate some acknowledgment for working on a Jewish holiday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Funny way to spend your life, though, studying another chap's versifying.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Funny how the people who know you the least have the most to say about you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The older you get, the harder it is to find someone willing to share a horse costume with you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: Where the hell is your math homework? Me: It committed suicide, had too many problems! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
