You know you're best friends when you're in the bathroom arguing over who gets the big stall. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I would like to be on the list of suspects during your next pregnancy scare. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Someone introduce me to whoever invented Mornings. I will beat the shit out of them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry. Im no longer in a mood to post anything anymore. someone in this house upset me.i don't want to even attempt… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
R.I.P to my Ex...the funeral will be held at Never Again Baptist Church, located across from The Lies You Told Cemetery, on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Justin's new album is finally out.i'm so proud of him. he worked so hard. :') now I just gotta wait till my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The 3 most difficult things to do in life. 1) Count your hair 2) You can't wash your eyes with soap 3)… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Meeting people at the bar is like going to the grocery store when your hungry - you bring home sh*t you don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The question that is so clearly in many potential parents' minds: 'Why should we stunt our ambitions and impoverish our lives in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate that feeling when you close your eyes to apply shampoo, and get paranoid that someone will kill you in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I turned my phone onto Airplane mode and threw it up into the air. Worst. Transformer. Ever. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh, you're cool enough to reply with a one word response? I'm cool enough to not respond. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The beach is a great place to relieve the soul-crushing stress you build up in the traffic going to the beach. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate the nerds that cover up their answers.. Like come on, let's work together bro. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One thing I've always wanted to do…slid down one the bowling alleylanes c: It seems like so much fun! c; — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That rejected feeling you get when you hold a baby and it starts to cry. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How did you get that scar? Well I was all like COME AT ME BRO... and he did... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Turning 32 years old is significant, because at 32 you can sleep with someone half your age and not go to jail — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The goal of science and engineering is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations on finding out where you'll be gaining 15 pounds as a freshman next year. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear slut, this may come as a surprise to you but your boobs go INSIDE your shirt. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The rest asked for one more cup each,in reply to which they were adviced to manage with their saliva — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women only have trouble parking because we are constantly lied to about what 8 inches is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
