Listen, I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I see one more female taking a picture with Duck Lips I'm going to punch her and make them permanent. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life's like your Ex-boyfriend it has it's up it has it's down but in the end you still finish it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Canada Day to the people who sell me inexpensive sexual enhancement drugs online. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The planet Saturn = 7 rings. Jordan = 6 rings. Kobe = 5 rings. LeBron…just a headband. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why do you feel safe under blankets? Its not like a murderer will come in thinking 'I'm gonna kill...ahh sh*t! He's under… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get to leave. Somebody make that a law, please. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm honoring you this Boss's Day by spending only half my workday on email, social media, dating sites, and pornography. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So a police man came up to me with a sniffer dog & said, This dog tells me you're on drugs.I'm on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: You should know this!You learned it 3 years ago! Me:Bitch, I don't even remember what I ate for dinner last night! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer its art and music but when I do it I'm creepy and have… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. 10% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
