Funny SMS: jokes and funny text messages in English and Urdu
A cheeky religious joke about a moulvi whose rules shift when he is the subject.
A girl ask to moulvi! can i kiss a man?
moulvi says: astaghfirullah! astaghfirullah!
girl: can i kiss a boy?
moulvi: laahulawala quwata.........
girl: can i kiss u?
moulvi: Bismillahh bismillah
A scientist cannot b a president,but kalam did it.
A conductor cannot b a superstar,but Rajini did it.
A monkey cannot operate mobile,
but u mere lal, mind blowing..... (u did it)
Us nay kaha kon ho Tum?
Main nay kaha Hasrat Tumari
Us nay kaha Taktey ho kya?
Main nay kaha Surat Tumhari
Us ne kaha kartey ho kya?
Main nay kaha Pooja Tumhari
Us nay kaha Kaafir ho kya?
Main nay kaha aisa hi sahi
Us nay kaha chatey ho kya?
Main nay kaha Mohabbat Tumhari
Us nay kaha Pachtaoge,
Main nay kaha KismatHamari
Us nay Kaha Married hoon mai.
Main nay kaha Sorry BAJI
A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents - Ruby First Class in Bed!
A Roman Urdu poem that compliments someone's appearance then reveals they just bathed.
Aaj kuch ghabraaye se lagte ho,
Thand se kuch kap-kapaaye se lagte ho,
Nikhar kar aayi hai soorat aapki,
BAHUT DINO KE BAAD NAHAAYE SE LAGTE HO..
Once, Boss, Officer & Clerk going 4 a meeting.
They saw a Jin.
Jin said: As i fulfill 3 wishes at a time
But u r 3 persons so i will fulfill 1 wish for each.
Clerk said: Send me to America with a lot of money clerk disappears. (wish fulfilled)
Officer said: Send me to Paris with a lot of beautiful girls. officer disappears. (wish fulfilled)
Jin said to Boss: what is ur wish?
He said: "I want these two idiots back at office after lunch."
Moral: Always Let the BOSS SPEAK 1st
Once an old man was waiting for a train, sitting on a bench.
A young boy came to him and asked the time.
Old man refused to tell the time.
Boy insisted again & again but old man denied again & again.
Boy asked the reason?
Old man said if i tell you the time,
then you will ask about me,my name,job etc.
Then i will ask about you,both of us will be frank.
By chance you may get the seat with me.
Then you may get down at my station.
My daughter will come to receive me.
She will meet you. She is beautiful.
You may fall in love with her,she too.
Then she may insist to marry u, even may threaten me.
And i am sorry that
I dont want such a poor son in law
who hasn't his own watch to see the time. ;-) :)
Imagine world without girls
roads sunsan markets viran
na janu na jan
na koi girl friend k liye preshan
bas namaz & quran
&
sarey larke direct jannat ul maqam
Worlds shortest jokes:
1) 2 Women r sitting quiet.
2) 2 Sardars r playing chess.
3) GirlFriend pays the bill...!!!
Need more???
U r beautiful.:-P
Mr.Bean Science
.
Major Rohail:
I was stuck in ELEVATOR for 3 hrs
Due to electric failure
Mr.Bean:
Ya me too
I was stuck on ESCALATOR for 5 hrs
u r...
A B C D E F G H I J K L
A=Aachhe
B=Briliant
C=Cool
D=Dashing
E=Emotional
F=Fantastic
G=Great
H=Hot
I=Intelligent
&
JKL=Joke Kaisa Laga.
A ship was sinking.
Captain: Does any one know how to pray?
A priest comes forward and says he can pray.
Captain: Ok priest, you pray;
Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket
as we are one jacket short.