Wife SMS / Text Messages

Collection of wife sms jokes & text messages which includes :- wife jokes , husband and wife jokes etc...

Wife:, honey what r u looking 4?

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wife:honey,what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing

wife:why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date

Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

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Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means...
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

WIFE says: No darling , it means :-
With Idiot For Ever

Can I make a call to my wife?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (95 votes, average: 3.57 out of 5)
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A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

Husband, wife & spare tyre

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (64 votes, average: 3.59 out of 5)
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HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle

If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further

M0ral:
always Keep a SPARE TYRE....

Dont underestimate the power of a WIFE

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (184 votes, average: 3.72 out of 5)
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A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay.
The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.
He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked
"Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?"
She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today..

The story continues....

The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.
Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing.
He said your husband has blocked your credit card.
MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband.

Story continues....

Wife took out his husbands credit card from purse
and uses it to clear all the bills.
Unfortunately he didn't block his own card.
Moral:...... Dont underestimate the power of a WIFE.

True saying about women.....

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True saying....
Women never dress up to impress man,

She dress up to irritate other women.

I am using your wife

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (240 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5)
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A man received message from his neighbour.

Sorry sir I am using your wife.
I am using day and night.
I am using when u r not present at home.
In fact I am using more than U R using.
I confess this because now I feel very much guilt.
Hope U will accept my sincere apologies.

Man went home and had a big fight with his wife.

Few minutes later he received another massage.

Sorry Sir spelling / auto correct mistake ...
it's not wife but WIFI.

By wife ....

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (194 votes, average: 3.95 out of 5)
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Police Officer: I arrest people, But, when I go home, I'm under house arrest, by Wife

Professor: I give lectures to students, But, when I go home, I get Lectured hourly, by wife

CEO: I'm the Boss, But, when I go home, I always feel like an employee, by wife

Judge: I give Justice, but when I go home, I Beg for Justice, by wife

I found Aladin's lamp today. :P

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Husband : I found Aladin's lamp today. :P
.
Wife : wow, what did u ask for darling ?? :D
.
.
Husband : I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
.
Wife : oh..darling..luv u so much.. :-*
.
Did he do that ??
.
Husband : He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero. :P :P

Husband wife watching an IPL match together

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (308 votes, average: 3.97 out of 5)
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Husband wife watching an IPL match together:
After 5 minutes:

Wife: Is this Bret Lee?
Husband: No, this is Chris Gayle, Bret Lee is a bowler.

Wife: Okay, oh look, another wicket.
Husband: No, this is just a replay of the last one.

Wife: Hmm, looks like India is going to win this one.
Husband: It's Bangalore vs Mumbai.

Wife: How many runs they need to win now?
Husband: 72 runs in 36 balls.

Wife: Eh! That's easy, just 2 runs in 1 ball.
Husband: *Turns off the TV*

Wife: Turns it on again and starts watching "Daily serial"

Husband: Who is girl here ?
Wife: Don't disturb me please .

I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET

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Boss hangs a poster in Office
"I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET"
He returns from lunch, finds a slip on his desk.
"Ur wife called, she wants her poster back home."