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Beautiful Quote by Phyllis Diller

“When you hire a person to plan your wedding, this…” quote by Phyllis Diller — Download Open image

“When you hire a person to plan your wedding, this does not include securing the groom. Plan to get married on Friday the 13th. In years to come this will make it much easier to explain why things turned out badly. To look beautiful at your wedding, take time to plan it. It took me a long time to find two ugly bridesmaids and a frumpy little flower girl.”

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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.

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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.

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By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.

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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.

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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.

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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

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The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

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“A smile is a curve that sets things right.”

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