Funny facebook status Quote by Mariah

*Buying condoms* Cashier: Would you like a bag with that? Me: No thanks... She's not that ugly.

— Francis

I carry condoms in my purse, even though I haven't had sex in a long time. I'm hoping for luck! And I carry them…

— Sharon Stone

Sicker than if she gave me AIDS, plus some teeth decay. Then she stole my condom, try to auction it on eBay.

— Mac Miller

“We're not buying Sam's Club condoms,” said Owen. “Their trash bags don't even work.”

— Sarah Dunn

New condom slogan:Wrap it in latex or she's gonna get your paychecks

— Anonymous

“I need to go to the store and pick up some condoms. But first I need to pick up some women.”

— Jarod Kintz

Oh- and grab the plastic bag over by my suitcase." I slug down the last of the coffee and get up. The bag contains…

— Holly Black

New condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she's going to get your paychecks.

— Anonymous

New camo condoms? She'll never see you cumming again.

— Amanda Roberts

Women need to protect themselves. You put that condom in your purse and save your own f***** life

— Lady Gaga

but I don't want to wear a condom because I don't feel anything," and she says calmly... glaring at me,"If you don't use one…

— Bret Easton Ellis

She don't even wonder, cause she know she bad. And I got her nigga, grocery bags

— Anonymous