Comedy Quote by Greg Giraldo Download Open image “You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress.” — Greg Giraldo ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.8 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare Comedy Dresses Funny Men Old man Waitress
“Just because I'm old, doesn't mean I have to dress like I am none too patiently waiting for death.” — Jessica Gadziala Copy Share Image
“What man doesn't have dress socks and shoes?" he asks pointedly. "You wanna grow up to be a hobo?” — Liz Reinhardt Steph Campbell Copy Share Image
“Flirt with the old ladies and you’ll be fine,” I muttered, shoving my stuff into the cubby. He hung his green hoodie on the… — Katherine McIntyre Copy Share Image
“Jesus, Ally, you're living with a stripper?" "She decided not to do it. She got a job at Hooters instead." "Oh, well, in that… — Lauren Barnholdt Copy Share Image
“In my book, if you want to be treated like an old person, you have to look like one. That means no face-lift, no… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Thing is, he says, in my line of work, you spend a lot of time sittin. A dress lets the breeze up...cool yer dingles… — Moira Young Copy Share Image
“I do not like being an old gal. But I've decided to be the best old gal I know how to be. ” — Joanna Gnadt Copy Share Image
“There’s no accounting for the opinions of old ladies. They think everyone is cute.” — Shannon Wiersbitzky Copy Share Image
“Hello, Mr. Trope, how may I help you?” says my older, completely sexually unattractive assistant, Penny.” — Alexa Riley Copy Share Image
Terrorism is obviously on everybody's mind. The other day my son says to me, 'Daddy, how come the bad men hate us?' How sad… — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
The things that make me laugh are considered smart or whatever, I guess. But stuff that's self-consciously intelligent or self-consciously hip or cool, that… — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
Even before the kids are born, you've go to make these decisions. If it's a boy, do we get him circumcised? If it's a… — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
Look at the insane things the Jews believe. The Jews believe that Barbra Streisand is worth $1,000 bucks a ticket. — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
People always want to compare their dogs to having kids. That's insulting. First of all, nobody has a dog because they were too drunk… — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake's career. — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny. — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
There's been so much talk in the news lately about illegal aliens in the workplace. When was the last time an illegal alien stole… — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
My advice to graduates is to stay positive. Life is short, and you'll be dead soon. — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds. — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
When I heard you could get a disease from playing with your prairie dog, I thought, 'Wow, what a euphemism.' I thought playing with… — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
I've always had real trouble knowing what my actual desires and goals are. I've just been dragged along by fate. — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy. — Shane Dawson Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want people to laugh at me. That's why I have to give all that I can, and at least produce something that… — Zhao Wei Copy Share Image
“Our world will not die as a result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, of making a joke… — Carlos Ruiz Zafon Copy Share Image
In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but… — Luke Evans Copy Share Image
That's something a lot of folks don't know about me - I'm pretty darn funny. — Michael Jai White Copy Share Image
I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
There's a difference between delivering real funny and just silly funny. — Lil Rel Howery Copy Share Image
Oh to that corkscrew, the useful tool to unlock the treasure of wit, the treasury of laughter, the front door of fellowship, and the… — Andrew Guzaldo Copy Share Image
