Christian Quote by Garrison Keillor

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”

Garrison Keillor

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More by Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Garrison Keillor

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The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think…

Garrison Keillor

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God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.

Garrison Keillor

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Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.

Garrison Keillor

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This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.

Garrison Keillor

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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our…

Garrison Keillor

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On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see,…

Garrison Keillor

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“The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.”

Garrison Keillor

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English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.

Garrison Keillor

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“If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.”

Garrison Keillor

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“The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”

Garrison Keillor

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I don't want them to be told to remember me.

Garrison Keillor

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Explore all 304 Garrison Keillor quotes

More Christian quotes

I need a bath." He chuckled. "You smell of smoke, as do I." The duke turned, leaning heavily on his cane. "Jameson, open the carriage door. We shall return to the house." Beth smiled up at Christian. "Shall we adjourn to the house to get some ointment for your hands and a bath, my love?" His eyes lit. "A bath?"…

Karen Hawkins

I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I…

Jay Mohr

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The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,…

Anonymous

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Why do Christians sing when they are together? The reason is, quite simply, because in singing together it is possible for them to speak…

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

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I'm very used to working with first time actors - you can just look back at 'E.T.' with Drew Barrymore, and Christian Bale from…

Steven Spielberg

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“A question for Christians who accept evolution: When did we gain a "soul"? Did Homo habilis have a soul? Homo ergaster? Did God only…

David G. McAfee

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Always have the fear of God in your heart, and remember that God is always with you, everywhere, whether you are walking or sitting.

Gennadius of Constantinople

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For many, the call to be a Christian can seem demanding, even overwhelming. But we need not be afraid or feel inadequate. The Savior has promised that He will make us equal to His work. 'Follow me,' He said, 'and I will make you fishers of men.' As we follow Him, He blesses us with gifts, talents, and the strength…

Robert D. Hales

A real Christian in an odd number anyway. He feels supreme love for One whom he has never seen, talks familiarly every day to Someone he cannot see, expects to go to heaven on the virtue of Another, empties himself in order to be full, admits he is wrong so he can be declared right, goes down in order to…

Anonymous

When the Lord Jesus Christ became my surety . . . He went to Calvary's cross, and all my guilt was charged against Him.…

Henry Allen Ironside

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The world's history is a divine poem, of which the history of every nation is a canto, and every man a word. Its strains have been pealing along down the centuries, and though there have been mingled the discords of warring cannon and dying men, yet to the Christian philosopher and historian - the humble listener - there has been…

James A. Garfield