Fine Quote by Demetri Martin

“I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'”

Demetri Martin

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Fine Homies Im sorry Intelligent Kevin Kidneys Nobel Nobel prize Prize Said Turtles Winning Wonder

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I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.

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Tic Tacs are the maracas of breath mints.

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When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.

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I think they named the orange before the carrot.

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I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front…

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How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

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Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That…

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I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead.

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Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.

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I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

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A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.

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THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the…

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To hurry through the rise and fall of a fine, full sentence is like defying the role of time in human life.

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Some shows just go away - and that's fine. They serve their purpose and their entertainment value, but there are shows that touch people…

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The Germans will make a few scattered attacks, then go away. The Romans will enjoy a fine September.

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But I saw the pain and sadness in everything, and swirled it round my mouth like a fine wine.

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- You look fine. - Right. I look fine. Except I don't, said Zora, tugging sadly at her man's nightshirt. This was why Kiki…

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Here comes old Rosie she's looking mighty fine, here comes hot Nancy she's steppin' right on time. There go the street lights bringing on…

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It's still possible to savor the remarkable foods that millennia of human ingenuity have teased from milk. A sip of milk itself or a…

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Another success is the post-office, with its educating energy augmented by cheapness and guarded by a certain religious sentimentin mankind; so that the power…

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