Quote by Darynda Jones Download Open image ““Dear Santa, WTF...”” — Darynda Jones ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.0 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“Nonsense, this is my home and I must defend it. It’s time for Santa to get serious.” — Michael Diack Copy Share Image
“We were standing near the Lollipop Forest when we realized that Santa is an anagram of Satan... Overhearing the customers we would substitute the… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You have got to be kidding. Where'd they find it?" "I like to think it was Santa finally coming through on years of passionate… — Lia Habel Copy Share Image
“Well, well, well,” Santa said once the elf had retreated. “Come and sit on my lap, little boy.” This Santa’s beard was real, and… — Rachel Cohn Copy Share Image
“Why thanks", Santa said. "you're awfully kind... (Though they are a bit snug ... on my ample behind." "Don't worry," I told him, "you'll… — Jim Harris Copy Share Image
“I stopped keeping an eye out for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve because, when I was five, my mother told me that Santa was… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
“You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout, I'm telling you why, Cause Santa Clause might put a cap in… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“It was like being told that there was a Santa Clause and that he was every bit as awesome as you’d always thought he… — Adrianne Brooks Copy Share Image
He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“Oh, my god, I don't know. What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
