Couple Quote by Chelsea Handler

“There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.”

Chelsea Handler

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I love people who have such passion for complete nonsense.

Chelsea Handler

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I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run…

Chelsea Handler

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At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and…

Chelsea Handler

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A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the…

Chelsea Handler

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It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is…

Chelsea Handler

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“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity…

Chelsea Handler

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I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have…

Chelsea Handler

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Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed…

Chelsea Handler

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I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

Chelsea Handler

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I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just…

Chelsea Handler

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“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.”

Chelsea Handler

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Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn…

Chelsea Handler

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I read a couple of books about neuroscience and the relationship between the mind and the body.

Joel Kinnaman

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Sometimes they were together so often that it felt as though they really were a couple; sometimes weeks and months would go by before…

Anonymous

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In a couple of decades you have half of the wells that are drilled right now, and you're talking about numbers in the millions…

Josh Fox

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As you'll never hear the thing again, my boy, why not throw in a couple of brass bands?

Thomas Beecham

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I've had a couple knockouts, but I feel good.

Wanderlei Silva

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There are bands that I am friends with, who will invite me up on stage. Like Les Savy Fav, who have had me on…

Fred Armisen

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I can get along great with the Hispanics. In fact, I sure would like to meet them, even the politicians, maybe in the back…

Joe Arpaio

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After I finished college, I got a job on Wall Street as a derivatives trader, but after a couple years of it, I was…

Philipp Meyer

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I took guitar lessons and recorded the song in New York. It was kind of a dream. I got to pretend I was a…

Kristen Wiig

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I met Tyler Perry and we did 'House of Payne' and a movie. We've done a couple other films since then, but it all…

Lance Gross

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For me to even be talking about bikini confidence is crazy. If you had asked me a couple of months ago, I probably would…

Jordin Sparks

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On Valentine's Day, couples in Calgary can celebrate their love for each other with couples' nude yoga - great way to get in shape…

Peter Sagal

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Couple Quote by Chelsea Handler

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