Faces Quote by Chelsea Handler

“How do you think jail was?! I got face raped by a woman... and I think I may have liked it.”

Chelsea Handler

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I love people who have such passion for complete nonsense.

Chelsea Handler

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I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run…

Chelsea Handler

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At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and…

Chelsea Handler

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A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the…

Chelsea Handler

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It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is…

Chelsea Handler

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“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity…

Chelsea Handler

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I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have…

Chelsea Handler

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Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed…

Chelsea Handler

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I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

Chelsea Handler

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I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just…

Chelsea Handler

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“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.”

Chelsea Handler

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Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn…

Chelsea Handler

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It can sometimes make people fold into themselves and kind of run away, but I think in this case these characters are being forced…

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Because the truth is that gossip is as good as gospel in this town. You can save face but you won't ever save your…

Conor Oberst

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My friends, this body - perhaps more than any other gathering in human history - now faces that difficult task.

Leonardo DiCaprio

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His fingertips slid down from my face, lightly stroking the line of my neck, down toward my shoulder. Everywhere he touched, a trail of…

Richelle Mead

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I've seen every one, from Motley Crue to John Denver, with tears running down my face. I had no idea everyone had such a…

Stevie Nicks

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So," I said. "Seems you're going to be stuck with me for a while." He smiled. A real smile that lit up his whole…

Kelley Armstrong

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We have a fear of facing ourselves. That is the obstacle. Experiencing the innermost core of our existence is very embarrassing to a lot…

Chogyam Trungpa

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I went to a mosque in Philadelphia with [my wife] in December 24, 1999. And we we went to this mosque in Philly, and…

Mahershala Ali

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If I had a million dollars, I just wouldn't just completely set back. I'd have to get out there and show my face to…

Muddy Waters

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It is proposed that a form of free dialogue may well be one of the most effective ways of investigating the crisis which faces…

David Bohm

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If enough money is involved and enough people believe that two plus two equals five the media will report the story with a straight…

Susan Jacoby

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Here comes old Rosie she's looking mighty fine, here comes hot Nancy she's steppin' right on time. There go the street lights bringing on…

Bob Seger

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Faces Quote by Chelsea Handler

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