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Jack Handey's Page
Your Porch Quotes by Jack Handey
1 Your Porch quote by Jack Handey
More Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 402 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me and I…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the car -…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows." Then…
See all 402 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Your Porch Quotes
Popular Your Porch quotes from across the collection:
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You know what's probably a good thing to hang on your porch in the summertime, to keep mosquitoes away from you and…
— Jack Handey
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True luxury is being able to own your time - to be able to take a walk, sit on your porch, read…
— Ashton Kutcher
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I've got a lot of cutting and pasting to do, gentlemen, so why don't you please return to your porch rockers and…
— Albert Rosenfeld
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If you let a bully come in your front yard, he'll be on your porch the next day and the day after…
— Lyndon B. Johnson
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i would court you with passion, if things were different. you'd never get me off your porch swing.
— Laura Whitcomb
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If I could be the reason your hair's a mess The bass drum beatin way down deep in your chest If I…
— Brett Eldredge
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If I could be the reason your hair's a mess, The bass drum beatin way down deep in your chest, If I…
— Unknown Author
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I'm gonna light a tiki torch, I'm gonna throw it on your porch.
— Offspring
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When Life rings your door bell and leaves a burning bag of poo on your porch don't step on it, instead put…
— Unknown Author
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