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Your Lawn Quotes by Dave Barry
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More Quotes by Dave Barry
Dave Barry has 529 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of…
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant…
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it…
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there…
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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
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More Your Lawn Quotes
Popular Your Lawn quotes from across the collection:
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Because in the end, you won't remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn…
— Jack Kerouac
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I've learned that the movies [Star Wars] will never finally end. It just goes on and on and on and on. I…
— Mark Hamill
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If Congress were to pass a 'flat' tax, you'd simply pay a fixed percentage of your income, and you wouldn't have to…
— Dave Barry
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Your neighbors will make judgments about you based on how your lawn and house look, and people who see you passing will…
— Lou Holtz
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The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The…
— P.J. O'Rourke
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Everybody has a ‘gripping stranger’ in their lives, Andy, a stranger who unwittingly possesses a bizarre hold over you. Maybe it’s the…
— Douglas Coupland
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You probably love to tell kids to get off your lawn, too.
— Jeaniene Frost
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Do not worry too much about your lawn. You will soon find if you haven't already that almost every adult American devotes…
— John Green
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Our success in this matter is important to all Americans. Whether you are in the forest land business or just enjoy the…
— Leonard Boswell
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In truth, if you lived next door to us in those days, you probably would've never stopped to see if your lawn…
— Motorhead
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Theres one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbors.
— Unknown Author
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