Witty Quotes

2578 quotes by 722 authors

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. — Mario Andretti
Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. — Jean Anouilh
Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less. — Susan B. Anthony
Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding. — Diane Arbus
I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade. — George Carlin
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better. — A J Liebling
This book fills a much-needed gap. — Moses Hadas
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. — Edsger Dijkstra
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. — Bjarne Stroustrup
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. — Ian Fleming
There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet. — Randy Pausch
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. — Xenocrates
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them. — Samuel Palmer
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. — Guy Davenport
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a… — Winston Churchill
Grove giveth and Gates taketh away. — Robert Metcalfe
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the… — Tony Hoare
What do you take me for, an idiot? — Charles de Gaulle
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. — Moses Hadas
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. — Sacha Guitry

Who Wrote These Witty Quotes

722 authors contributed a total of 2,578 Witty Quotes, led by these top contributors: