Witty Quotes
- The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase. — Yogi Berra
- The covers of this book are too far apart. — Ambrose Bierce
- Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. — Josh Billings
- There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. — Josh Billings
- Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. — Josh Billings
- Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. — Josh Billings
- There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. — Josh Billings
- We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. — Aesop
- Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. — Erma Bombeck
- Never have more children than you have car windows. — Erma Bombeck
- Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. — Erma Bombeck
- Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. — Napoleon Bonaparte
- Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know. — Daniel J. Boorstin
- When the sun comes up, I have morals again. — Elayne Boosler
- Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix? — Elayne Boosler
- Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. — Victor Borge
- He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. — Victor Borge
- Next to being witty, the best thing is being able to quote another's wit. — Christian Nestell Bovee
- Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. — Wernher von Braun
- A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. — David Brenner