Witty Quotes

2578 quotes by 687 authors

Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall .... And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch .... It'll move on… — Nikhil Saluja
Stalking your EX is injurious to heart. — Nikhil Saluja
It has been scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know. — Nikhil Saluja
If a guy says he's not in mood to talk with a girl. He probably have masturbated few seconds ago. — Nikhil Saluja
When a girl says have fun She means have a horrible time without me. Not true... Maybe! — Nikhil Saluja
Drunk Twitter because embarrassing myself in one zip code was never enough. — Nikhil Saluja
That's my dick. Not my arm. — Nikhil Saluja
Better to die as a man, than to live as a pussy. — Nikhil Saluja
Just be yourself is great advice to maybe 12% of people. — Nikhil Saluja
Light beer? No thanks, I still have my balls. — Nikhil Saluja
Penis goes in , sperms cums out. — Nikhil Saluja
Dear Brain, can you please shut the fuck up so I can sleep? — Nikhil Saluja
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. — Nikhil Saluja
COMMUNISM : You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk. — Nikhil Saluja
FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk. — Nikhil Saluja
BUREAUCRACY You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down… — Nikhil Saluja
CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. — Nikhil Saluja
DEMOCRACY You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to pay the taxes to… — Nikhil Saluja
CORPORATE You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead. — Nikhil Saluja
I'm in my zone so leave me alone. — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Witty Quotes

687 authors contributed a total of 2,578 Witty Quotes, led by these top contributors: