Witty Quotes

2578 quotes by 687 authors

I asked a lady on the street for directions. I know women have no sense of direction, I just wanted to look at her big… — Nikhil Saluja
Dear locked account users, who hurt you? — Nikhil Saluja
My wife nearly crashed the car today. Thankfully I remembered to hide the keys. — Nikhil Saluja
Woman who springs on innerspring this spring, gets offspring next spring. — Nikhil Saluja
Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter. — Nikhil Saluja
Woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock. — Nikhil Saluja
Man who buy drowned cat, must pay for stinking wet pussy. — Nikhil Saluja
Girl who is wallflower at party, may be dandelion in bed. — Nikhil Saluja
Man who keep feet firmly on ground, have trouble putting on pants. Woman who slides down banister, makes monkey shine. — Nikhil Saluja
I usually admit when someone complains but that's only coz denying them requires explaining. — Nikhil Saluja
The thing I admire most in my girlfriend is her brains and the way that each of them has an attractive nipple on it. — Nikhil Saluja
It's not a day that don't go by that I don't thank God for waking me up to enjoy life and appreciate life and everybody… — Nikhil Saluja
Remember, ladies: mouthwash is still cheaper than an abortion. — Nikhil Saluja
If my zipper is down, that's my problem, you didn't see anything! — Nikhil Saluja
If only forgetting a person was as easy as forgetting why I open the fridge... — Nikhil Saluja
I just met a girl named Karma. She was actually really sweet. — Nikhil Saluja
Im on a strict diet. Whiskey and Vagina. — Nikhil Saluja
Feelings? Never heard of them. — Nikhil Saluja
Just won a staring contest... With the wall — Nikhil Saluja
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Witty Quotes

687 authors contributed a total of 2,578 Witty Quotes, led by these top contributors: