Witty Quotes

2578 quotes by 687 authors

Midnight snack? You mean vagina. — Nikhil Saluja
Salad? Thats what my food eats. — Nikhil Saluja
Just converted to a new religion. It's called idontgiveafuckism. — Nikhil Saluja
I always pay attention in installments — Nikhil Saluja
It doesn't bother me that you don't like me, what bothers me is that you are hypocritical and PRETEND to like me. — Nikhil Saluja
I don't have anger issues, I have issues with idiots who make me angry. — Nikhil Saluja
Too MANY people ask for the truth, but too FEW can actually handle it. — Nikhil Saluja
They said dress for the job you want not the job you have, so I dressed like Mr India and didn't show up to work. — Nikhil Saluja
Murders should be legally allowed in the morning. — Nikhil Saluja
Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and relationships. — Nikhil Saluja
Rumours? Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs. — Nikhil Saluja
If a girl takes the time to straighten her hair and you don't fall in love with her you're an asshole. — Nikhil Saluja
Everytime I find a dead body, I wish it was a pizza. Every time. — Nikhil Saluja
With breasts, all things are possible. — Nikhil Saluja
Light Lunch? Whiskey and a Cigar — Nikhil Saluja
Wedding dresses are white so the dishwasher will match the oven and the fridge. — Nikhil Saluja
You are the Powerful person only when., your Presence can decrease or increase someones Heartbeat.!!! — Nikhil Saluja
Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you. — Nikhil Saluja
Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, You don't have AIDS, do you? — Nikhil Saluja
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Witty Quotes

687 authors contributed a total of 2,578 Witty Quotes, led by these top contributors: