Witty Quotes

2578 quotes by 687 authors

2013, still no flying cars instead, twitter with assholes. — Nikhil Saluja
True love is indescribable, yet self-explanatory. — Nikhil Saluja
I'm afraid, I just blue myself. — Nikhil Saluja
You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem. — Nikhil Saluja
If someone stole your tweet just write 50 more tweets or have them murdered. Simple. — Nikhil Saluja
Women speak in estrogen. Men listen in testosterone. — Nikhil Saluja
Stop quoting me on your twitter profile. - Gandhi — Nikhil Saluja
If all woman in the world died today, human race would no longer possess the secret of how to properly wrap a towel around your… — Nikhil Saluja
Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging. — Nikhil Saluja
They always say to treat people the way you want to be treated. So far, I've given 4 handjobs today. — Nikhil Saluja
Okay. - the only thing ever said by guys in Sex, Shower and Sandwitch. — Nikhil Saluja
Going to gym really sucks. But I calculated, and there's a good news - I only have to go 9,972 times before I die! — Nikhil Saluja
Sometimes I'll see a girl jogging that's so sexy, I'll jog directly behind her ass until she gets home. — Nikhil Saluja
For those who woke up in a Fussy mood this morning do me a favor, punch your spouse in their fucking face. — Nikhil Saluja
A girl prepares your fridge football season. The woman just wants you on her tight end. — Nikhil Saluja
A truck full of dildos is just Toys for Twats. — Nikhil Saluja
Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat. — Nikhil Saluja
What was the first tweet of twitter? Probably about assholes coming soon. — Nikhil Saluja
Love is a vine that grows into our hearts. — Nikhil Saluja
If I don't know what true love is, how will I ever find it? — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Witty Quotes

687 authors contributed a total of 2,578 Witty Quotes, led by these top contributors: