Witty Quotes

2578 quotes by 687 authors

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people. — Nikhil Saluja
After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual… — Nikhil Saluja
Between 3 and 80, Man is like North Korea: Ruled by nuts' — Nikhil Saluja
Cocks are a lot like ovens. You would rather a woman was operating it but sometimes you have to use it yourself. — Nikhil Saluja
Men...we spend nine months trying to get out of a vagina, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in. — Nikhil Saluja
You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home. — Nikhil Saluja
I texted my girlfriend a picture of my flaccid penis. I just wanted to let her know I was thinking about her. — Nikhil Saluja
Periods. Mother natures cock block. — Nikhil Saluja
I never pay my attention. he's going to die poor. — Nikhil Saluja
It hurts when someone with whom you wanna talk ignores you,but it hurts worst when you ignore that person because they are ignoring you. — Nikhil Saluja
I should be ashamed of yourself. — Nikhil Saluja
Never trust an Italian who don't like pasta as his breakfast. — Nikhil Saluja
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my fav cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the… — Nikhil Saluja
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals. — Nikhil Saluja
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one. — Nikhil Saluja
People get so weird when you put your fingers in their nose. — Nikhil Saluja
I'd be a great mattress salesman coz I love removing pants for no reason and spending all day looking at porn. — Nikhil Saluja
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to,… — Nikhil Saluja
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that… — Nikhil Saluja
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that… — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Witty Quotes

687 authors contributed a total of 2,578 Witty Quotes, led by these top contributors: