Witty Quotes

2578 quotes by 687 authors

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn' t feel good, and I learned that I… — Nikhil Saluja
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to… — Nikhil Saluja
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be. — Nikhil Saluja
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when… — Nikhil Saluja
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't… — Nikhil Saluja
My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds. — Nikhil Saluja
If I ask to suck your boobs when I wake up, does that count as sleeping like a baby? — Nikhil Saluja
I hate it when I have a tweet in my head and my friends doesn't retweet it. — Nikhil Saluja
Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts. — Nikhil Saluja
I'm well aware when i've to use suck me or fuck me. Yea I'm classy like that! — Nikhil Saluja
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth. — Nikhil Saluja
In case of emergency , Break Dance! — Nikhil Saluja
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. — Nikhil Saluja
I started out with nothing...and I still have most of it left. — Nikhil Saluja
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. — Nikhil Saluja
My biggest problem is falling in love with those who retweet me, — Nikhil Saluja
I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up. — Nikhil Saluja
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable. — Nikhil Saluja
Mostly all famous inventions start off as an accidents. For instance, my invention of running over cats. — Nikhil Saluja
Urologists don't know shit. — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Witty Quotes

687 authors contributed a total of 2,578 Witty Quotes, led by these top contributors: