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Waiting Quotes by Jack Handey
- Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you…
- He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her.…
- If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing…
- Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait.…
- I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said Nick. "Let's climb…
- I remember when I was in the army, we had the toughest drill sergeant in the world. He'd get right up next to your face…
- If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out and said, "Congratulations, it's a girl," I think a good gag…
- Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you.
- The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!
- Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it "dull" that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant,…
- If you go to a party, and you want to be the popular one at the party, do this: Wait until no one is looking,…
More Waiting Quotes
- As we all know, many people remain buried under tons of rubble and debris, waiting to be rescued. When we think of… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- I write the paragraph, then I'm crossing out, changing words, trying to improve it. When it seems more or less OK, then… — Paul Auster
- If you're waiting for the perfect moment, you'll never write a thing because it will never arrive. I have no routine. I… — Margaret Atwood
- All works of art are commissioned in the sense that no artist can create one by a simple act of will but… — Wystan Hugh Auden
- (On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car. — Tallulah Bankhead
- If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur. — Red Adair
- I don't see the point of photographing trees or rocks because they're there and anyone can photograph them if they're prepared to… — David Bailey
- One of the things that has to be faced is the process of waiting to change the system, how much we have… — Ella Baker
- It's about pursuing it rather than waiting to see what comes along. That's partly because I found myself getting typecast, as everyone… — Christian Bale
- My mom never taught me to be waiting for some prince on a white horse to swipe me off my feet. — Tyra Banks
- So I'm just waiting until one party or the other actually gets a moral compass and a backbone. — John Perry Barlow
- The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. — Dave Barry