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Toothpicks Quotes by Dave Barry
1 Toothpicks quote by Dave Barry
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Dave Barry has 529 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of…
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant…
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it…
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there…
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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
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More Toothpicks Quotes
Popular Toothpicks quotes from across the collection:
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A samurai will use a toothpick even though he has not eaten. Inside the skin of a dog, outside the hide of…
— Yamamoto Tsunetomo
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He is one of those wise philanthropists who, in a time of famine, would vote for nothing but a supply of toothpicks.
— Douglas William Jerrold
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Bill Walton is incredible. If you drop a toothpick on his foot, he'll have a stress fracture.
— Stan Albeck
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It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he…
— Jack Handey
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[on going to Sunday school:] It looks like rain, and I hope it will rain cats and dogs and hammers and pitchforks…
— Edna St. Vincent Millay
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I can snap your spine like a toothpick.
— Dave Barry
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It is disgusting to pick your teeth; what is vulgar is to use a gold toothpick.
— Louis Kronenberger
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When God's people are removed from this earth, you might as well try to dam up Niagara Falls with toothpicks as to…
— Vance Havner
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Programming in machine code is like eating with a toothpick
— Charles Petzold
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You might as well try and dam Niagara Falls with toothpicks as to stop the reform wave sweeping our land.
— Billy Sunday
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Up there we see everything, Oakland to the left, El Cerrito and Richmond to the right, Marin forward, over the Bay, Berkeley…
— Dave Eggers
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use?…
— George Carlin
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