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Toothpick Quotes by Dave Barry
1 Toothpick quote by Dave Barry
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Dave Barry has 529 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of…
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant…
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it…
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there…
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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
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More Toothpick Quotes
Popular Toothpick quotes from across the collection:
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A samurai will use a toothpick even though he has not eaten. Inside the skin of a dog, outside the hide of…
— Yamamoto Tsunetomo
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Bill Walton is incredible. If you drop a toothpick on his foot, he'll have a stress fracture.
— Stan Albeck
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It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he…
— Jack Handey
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I can snap your spine like a toothpick.
— Dave Barry
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It is disgusting to pick your teeth; what is vulgar is to use a gold toothpick.
— Louis Kronenberger
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Programming in machine code is like eating with a toothpick
— Charles Petzold
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...When it was finished, the scaled dragon looked around and as the thing spotted V, a growl rippled up to the bleachers,…
— J R Ward
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To Garan's credit, the treatment of Dellian prisoners did change after that. One particularly laconic man, after a session in which Fire…
— Kristin Cashore
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Hey!" I turned, crossing my arms and glaring. "I was talking to him!" Tybalt eyed me with amusement, which just made me…
— Mira Grant
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Would you leave me alone, you walking pair of boots! Let go of my easel, you refugee from a luggage factory. If…
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
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Could you please explain to me exactly what the staff is that you carry?" Cronus proudly held the symbol of his power…
— Stuart Hill
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Did she just call me a bleeding toothpick? Kill her! Kill her now!
— Jennifer Estep
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