« All Time Quotes · Mitch Hedberg's Page
Time Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
- I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
- Incubated. And then raised. And then beheaded. And then plucked. And then cut up. And then put on a grill. And then put on a…
- I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After…
- One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when…
- My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If…
- I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have…
- Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
- Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
- If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.
More Time Quotes
- As far as we are concerned, we are ready to leave today, tomorrow, at any time, to join the people of Haiti,… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Throughout all of this confusion, I hope I somehow get to you. I practice all the things I'd say to tell you… — Superman
- I design for real people. I think of our customers all the time. There is no virtue whatsoever in creating clothing or… — Giorgio Armani
- When I immersed myself in prayer and united myself with all the Masses that were being celebrated all over the world at… — Mary Faustina Kowalska
- No punishment has ever possessed enough power of deterrence to prevent the commission of crimes. On the contrary, whatever the punishment, once… — Hannah Arendt
- For one swallow does not make a summer, nor does one day; and so too one day, or a short time, does… — Aristotle
- I feel like obviously the standard for what TV looks like changes all the time. — J. J. Abrams
- Years ago someone wrote [about me]: 'She characterizes Molly Weasley as a mother who is only at home looking after the children.'… — Joanne Kathleen Rowling