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Sex Quotes by Jack Handey
- I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
- I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling…
- Tonight, when we were eating dinner, Marta said something that really knocked me for a loop. She said, "I love carrots." "Good," I said as…
- I saw on this nature show how the male elk douses himself with urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!
More Sex Quotes
- There are some forms of religion that are bad, just as there's bad cooking or bad art or bad sex, you have… — Karen Armstrong
- There are two things people want more than sex and money... recognition and praise. — Mary Kay Ash
- Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. — Isaac Asimov
- One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. — Jane Austen
- I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late start without me. — Tallulah Bankhead
- Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain't over 'til you both get your cookie. — Alec Baldwin
- Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it and thought of other… — James A. Baldwin
- I wake up every morning, look in the mirror and ask, 'Am I a sex symbol?' Then I go back to bed… — Antonio Banderas
- I'm as pure as the driven slush. — Tallulah Bankhead
- Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once. — Tallulah Bankhead
- Life is wasted on the living. — Douglas Adams
- I'm just curious, who's more fit to raise a child? A loving committed same-sex couple or an unmarried 15-year-old with no income… — Ellen Barkin