Sarcastic Quotes

891 quotes by 449 authors

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. — Woody Allen
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. — Woody Allen
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. — Woody Allen
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. — Woody Allen
You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change. — John Cleese
I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me. — John Cleese
The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip. — John Cleese
If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. — Hillary Clinton
It is great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. — Pamela Anderson
I got into therapy in the fifth grade because I said in a sarcastic way that I was going to kill myself, and they didn't… — Fiona Apple
If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire. — George Carlin
Please try not to be such a wiener-head. — Dave Barry
She is a water bug on the surface of life. — Gloria Steinem
She's descended from a long line her mother listened to. — Gypsy Rose Lee
They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge. — Thomas Reed
Useless as a pulled tooth. — Mary Roberts Rinehart
A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits. — Edith Sitwell
A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity. — Benjamin Disraeli
If there's anything disgusting about the movie business, it's the whoredom of my peers. — Sean Penn
In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism. They have formed their own 4-H Club -… — Spiro T. Agnew

Who Wrote These Sarcastic Quotes

449 authors contributed a total of 891 Sarcastic Quotes, led by these top contributors: