Sarcastic Quotes

891 quotes by 464 authors

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. — Ambrose Bierce
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills. — Ambrose Bierce
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. — Ambrose Bierce
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others. — Ambrose Bierce
Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made. — Otto von Bismarck
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year. — Victor Borge
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer. — Victor Borge
He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. — Victor Borge
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming. — Wernher von Braun
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. — A. Whitney Brown
I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. — Warren Buffett
You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on. — George W. Bush
A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it. — George W. Bush
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them. — Samuel Butler
Neither irony or sarcasm is argument. — Samuel Butler
All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income. — Samuel Butler
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. — George Carlin
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? — George Carlin
Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered. — Al Capp
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar. — Drew Carey

Who Wrote These Sarcastic Quotes

464 authors contributed a total of 891 Sarcastic Quotes, led by these top contributors: