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Open Quotes by Jack Handey
- If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to…
- Sometimes when I'm driving behind a big cement truck, I think of how the valve on the truck could suddenly open, spilling cement over my…
- I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fisherman caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they…
- A good way to keep a mob of peasants from killing your monster is when they break into your castle, make them be real quiet,…
More Open Quotes
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- Keep your ears open, your eyes open, grab everything you can, react, and learn! — Victoria Abril
- The Holy Spirit is our comforter, our teacher. That's why, in prayer, we can ask the Lord to open up Scripture and… — Michele Bachmann
- A sudden bold and unexpected question doth many times surprise a man and lay him open. — Francis Bacon
- Rather than knowing more, I think I've got more open-minded. — David Bailey
- I come from musical theater, and a lot of musical theater is about accepting fantasy. I think it is more about just… — Amy Adams
- A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. — Honore de Balzac
- Another friend hired me to open doors for him in the moving and relocation business. I did that for 10 years, am… — Ernie Banks
- Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry
- I grew up in a family that was multifaceted, sexually oriented, and pretty much open to everything. And because I was working,… — Drew Barrymore
- A safe but sometimes chilly way of recalling the past is to force open a crammed drawer. If you are searching for… — James M. Barrie
- If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should -… — Dave Barry