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Mother Quotes by Joan Rivers
- I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
- On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
- My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood.
- My mother told me 'man on top, woman underneath.' For years my husband & I slept in bunk beds.
- A female salmon lays three thousand eggs a year - and has yet to receive a Mother's Day card from one of them.
- I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'
- Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say,…
- My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.
- Your child is never not your child. You can be 90 and your mother 120, but your mother is still worried about you.
- I was a Brownie Scout mother.
- I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three…
More Mother Quotes
- Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. — Aristotle
- My mother is the coolest, most amazing person I know. — J. J. Abrams
- My parents were early converts to Christianity in my part of Nigeria. They were not just converts; my father was an evangelist,… — Chinua Achebe
- Because I am a mother, I am capable of being shocked: as I never was when I was not one. — Margaret Atwood
- Their mothers had finally caught up to them and been proven right. There were consequences after all but they were the consequences… — Margaret Atwood
- Poverty is the mother of crime. — Marcus Aurelius
- Those of us who can remember our childhoods will recall how ardently we relished the moment of the bedtime story, when our… — Paul Auster
- My mother always said I must be part Mongolian because of my lotus-pale complexion and squid-ink black hair. — Diane Ackerman
- It is here, my daughters, that love is to be found - not hidden away in corners but in the midst of… — Teresa of Avila
- I had a father and mother, who were devout and feared God. Our Lord also helped me with His grace. All this… — Teresa of Avila
- There's huge, massive mother ships going up to the Yukon. They've been filmed and are on video. — Dan Aykroyd
- My parents were divorced when I was a young teenager, and I was raised by a single mother after that. So, I… — Michele Bachmann