"My mother was a very elegant woman. When……" — Joan Rivers
"My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood."
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Joan Rivers
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245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
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I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
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We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
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Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
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A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Elegant Quotes
This quote is filed under Elegant Quotes,
one of 372 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Even if I did have, you know, a 'Sports Illustrated' body, I'd still wear elegant clothes.
— Adele
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Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
— Josh Billings
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I don't like being called 'macho.' Macho basically means stupid and a real Italian man is not macho, he's smart.…
— Andrea Bocelli
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I know that Brighton is famously a mixture of the seedy and the elegant, but in the summer of 2001…
— Julie Burchill
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Tabloid photos capture people at their most self-conscious and disoriented; in real life, Paris Hilton is like an elegant paper…
— Diablo Cody
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You can never take too much care over the choice of your shoes. Too many women think that they are…
— Christian Dior
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God looks not at the oratory of your prayers, how elegant they may be; nor at the geometry of your…
— Thomas Brooks
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The Body of B. Franklin, Printer Like the Cover of an old Book Its Contents turn out And Stript of…
— Benjamin Franklin
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Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.
— Andre Simon
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Sir, money, money, the most charming of all things; money, which will say more in one moment than the most…
— Henry Fielding
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The future is like the daytime moon, a diffident but faithful companion, so elegant as to be almost invisible, an…
— Robert Grudin
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When that happens [the demise of golf], old men will furtively beckon to their sons and, like fugitives from the…
— Alistair Cooke
See all 372 Elegant Quotes »