« All Me Quotes · Demetri Martin's Page
Me Quotes by Demetri Martin
- I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of…
- Sometimes, when something really great happens to me, I like to wait two weeks before I tell anyone about it, because I like to use…
- To me, comedy is a game.
- If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
- I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
- I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the…
- I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said,…
- I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters…
- A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just…
- A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little…
- I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.
- I just know keeping track of what I'm doing and where I'm going is important to me.
- There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less…
- But what I was going to say was, I just figured I'm going to go boldly in the direction of my dreams, say it as…
- I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but…
- To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others…
- Like a lot of people, I’ve always enjoyed commenting on strangers’ outfits. Unlike a lot of people, I now had a new megaphone to do…
- Usually, my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it.
- Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
More Me Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore… — Pietro Aretino
- Flattery and deceit are the darlings of great men, and so with these men spread the butter on thick, if you want… — Pietro Aretino
- Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I don't think… — Asia Argento
- Boxing gave me the opportunities to grow into the person that I am today. — Alexis Arguello
- I try to push ideas away, and the ones that will not leave me alone are the ones that ultimately end up… — J. J. Abrams
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- From heresy, frenzy and jealousy, good Lord deliver me. — Ludovico Ariosto
- Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever. — Aristophanes
- My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake. — Aristotle
- Plato is dear to me, but dearer still is truth. — Aristotle
- A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more… — Frank Abagnale