"I set a personal record on Christmas. I……" — Demetri Martin

"I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, 'Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.' The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday.' I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it."

— Demetri Martin

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133 Quotes by Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin has 133 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

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More Ahead Quotes

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