"Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock.……" — Demetri Martin
"Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks."
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Demetri Martin
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133 Quotes by Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin has 133 quotes on this site.
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I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less…
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I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
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I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are…
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I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all…
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Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red…
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Relationships, like eyebrows, are better when there is space between them.
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The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
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I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed
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Every fight is a food fight when youre a cannibal.
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A musical is the same as a burlap sack, I would not want to be in either
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How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.
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There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.
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