"I have a time machine at home. It……" — Demetri Martin
"I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed"
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Demetri Martin
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133 Quotes by Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin has 133 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less…
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I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
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I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are…
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I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all…
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Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red…
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Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word.…
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Relationships, like eyebrows, are better when there is space between them.
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The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
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Every fight is a food fight when youre a cannibal.
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A musical is the same as a burlap sack, I would not want to be in either
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How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.
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There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.
See all 133 quotes by Demetri Martin »
More Forward Quotes
This quote is filed under Forward Quotes,
one of 4,434 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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When it comes to the point where you occasionally look forward to being in prison on the basis that you…
— Julian Assange
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We have a way of dealing with information that has sort of personal - personally identifying information in it. But…
— Julian Assange
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We don't have sources who are dissidents on other sources. Should they come forward, that would be a tricky situation…
— Julian Assange
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Forward, as occasion offers. Never look round to see whether any shall note it... Be satisfied with success in even…
— Marcus Aurelius
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I came to the conclusion months ago, and I said it to members of Congress, that the only way people…
— David Axelrod
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What people recognize is that there's a fear that the United States is in an unstoppable decline. They see the…
— Michele Bachmann
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You know, I try not to look back, because looking forward is so much better than looking backward.
— Jim Bakker
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By striving to do the impossible, man has always achieved what is possible. Those who have cautiously done no more…
— Mikhail Bakunin
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I've been sober now for a couple of years and I'm taking my sobriety very seriously - one day at…
— Daniel Baldwin
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Time is a great conference planning our end, and youth is only the past putting a leg forward.
— Djuna Barnes
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What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
— Dave Barry
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As much horror as we have always created, we are a species that keeps moving forward, seeing new sights in…
— Martha Beck
See all 4,434 Forward Quotes »