"I ordered a wake-up call the other day.……" — Demetri Martin
"I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'"
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Demetri Martin
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133 Quotes by Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin has 133 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less…
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I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
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I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all…
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Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red…
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Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word.…
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Relationships, like eyebrows, are better when there is space between them.
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The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
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I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed
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Every fight is a food fight when youre a cannibal.
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A musical is the same as a burlap sack, I would not want to be in either
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How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.
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There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.
See all 133 quotes by Demetri Martin »
More Call Quotes
This quote is filed under Call Quotes,
one of 9,288 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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With a goose-quill and a few sheets of paper, I mock myself of the universe. They say I am the…
— Pietro Aretino
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The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
— Richard Bach
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To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today.
— Isaac Asimov
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To insult someone we call him 'bestial. For deliberate cruelty and nature, 'human' might be the greater insult.
— Isaac Asimov
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Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes,…
— Dave Attell
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All fiction is about people, unless it's about rabbits pretending to be people. It's all essentially characters in action, which…
— Margaret Atwood
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There's a difference between describing and evoking something. You can describe something and be quite clinical about it. To evoke…
— Margaret Atwood
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The same thing which is now called Christian religion existed among the ancients. They have begun to call 'Christian' the…
— Saint Augustine
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My idea of good company is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation; that…
— Jane Austen
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Chance is an element of life. What I try to do is study what I call the mechanics of reality…
— Paul Auster
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I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it 'content.'
— Lauren Bacall
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I would hate now to be married. It does occur to me on occasion that, if I fall and hit…
— Lauren Bacall
See all 9,288 Call Quotes »