Funny Good Morning Quotes
82 Funny Good Morning quotes by 72 unique authors
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Love. Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have…
— Ray Bradbury
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What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?
— Bertolt Brecht
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After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'
— William S. Burroughs
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Nothing is more beautiful than the loveliness of the woods before sunrise.
— George Washington Carver
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One morning I woke up and was plunged into psychological shock. I had forgotten I was free.
— Jack Abbott
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I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'
— Demetri Martin
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Death is the final wake-up call.
— Douglas Horton
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I've risen from the dead. Though sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I've died. I swear I'm aging in dog…
— Tony Stewart
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I`m not a morning person
— Laurell K. Hamilton
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It's a mystery of parenthood that your son can give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a stray, worm-riddled dog, share a piece of re-chewed gum from a…
— Kathy Lette
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Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
— Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
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I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not…
— Benjamin Franklin
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My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself…
— Cary Grant
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Good morning is a contradiction of terms.
— Jim Davis
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Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.
— Emily Dickinson
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The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
— Jean Kerr
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I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by…
— Larry King
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Do you know how many calories are in butter and cheese and ice cream? Would you get your dog up in the morning for a…
— Jack LaLanne
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Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is…
— Dalai Lama
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Everyone has highs and lows that they have to learn from, but every morning I start off with a good head on my shoulders, saying…
— Lindsay Lohan
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It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young.
— Konrad Lorenz
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Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
— Seth MacFarlane
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I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
— Dean Martin
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
— Groucho Marx
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It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.
— Colin Powell
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Who Wrote These Funny Good Morning Quotes
72 authors contributed a total of 82 Funny Good Morning Quotes, led by these top contributors: