« All Im Sorry Quotes · Demetri Martin's Page
Im Sorry Quotes by Demetri Martin
- I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I…
- I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you…
- I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'
- My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. 'Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach,…
- I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed…
- The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
- The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.
- Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral.
- If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
- I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering.…
- When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
- I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney.…
- People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar.…
- Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain…
- I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot…
- I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all…
More Im Sorry Quotes
- Mistrust makes life difficult. Trust makes it risky. — Mason Cooley
- Mostly I am sorry for the way I thought of other people. Like a good general, I had treated everyone who wasn't… — Lee Atwater
- Public opinion, I am sorry to say, will bear a great deal of nonsense. There is scarcely any absurdity so gross, whether… — Ralph Waldo Emerson
- The words are all gone, the time's been too long but it's not too late to say I'm sorry to a friend — Edwin McCain
- Words will not be able to ever express how sorry I am for this, and I have profound regret and sorrow for… — Jack Abramoff
- Im sorry Im not gay or Jewish, so I dont have a special interest group of journalists that support me. — Vincent Gallo
- I am sorry I could not see my father. — Leon Czolgosz
- Im sorry I cant speak very coherently. — Syd Barrett
- Play fair. Don't hit people. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. — Robert Fulghum
- Being sorry is the highest act of selfishness, seeing value only after discarding it. — Douglas Horton
- More people should apologize, and more people should accept apologies when sincerely made. — Greg LeMond
- I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday'… — Demetri Martin